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The Circle Is; About Life in Community

September 24, 2019 40 Comments

I’ve had the privilege of being included in a First-Nations-guided talking circle. Though a talking circle is led through the presence and example of an Elder, it doesn’t have the feel or structure of hierarchy. Since all have the ability to speak and to be heard, a talking circle feels like democracy in action. There’s a built-in sense of community.

Being Mennonite, the idea of community is familiar to me. Community isn’t a monochromatic experience, though. It’s interesting how sometimes community feels natural and nurturing, and other times feels imposed or even excluding. I believe that the strongest communities are those that have lots of room for diversity and even maverick perspectives. Very homogeneous communities that are based on conformity to a narrow set of norms may seem strong, but can they really be adaptable to new situations, or even truly recognize all the factors/individuals that affect/enrich their lives?

I wrote The Circle Is as a way of exploring the attitudes and expectations we bring to community, and also to express some views of what community could be at its best. The metaphor of the circle felt like a good way to hold it together thematically.

Here are the lyrics;

The Circle Is

Some enter the circle like a roundabout,
They come in only looking for a way out.
Others have it spinning like a top
They don’t go anywhere, & they never stop.

Some see the circle as a hurricane,
Where our lives get destroyed by the weather.
Some see the circle as a great big blender
Where everyone gets stirred together.

We see the circle as a safe place,
Where each can look into the eyes of another.

God knows, we’re always walking in lines,
Standing in boxes that go up and down.
Everything is organized
so we can be efficient, So we can get around.

We need a circle, we need a safe space,
Judgement suspended,
Where healing can take place.
We need a circle – we can serve each other –
A place where the juices of our souls can be replaced.

The circle is a bowl that holds
Nourishment for our souls…
…a turbine on a hill that makes the most
Of the power of the wind that blows.

Some enter the circle like a roundabout –
they come in only looking for a way out.

We need a circle, we need a safe space,
Judgement suspended, where healing can take place…
Judgement suspended, where healing
can take place.

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More Thanks

September 12, 2019 No Comment

So many people to thank.

There are more teachers and mentors who were part of my development in music, and also other supporters.

Thanks to the late Peter Braun, my music teacher and school and church choir director, for teaching me so much about music and performance and for providing me with early opportunities.

Thanks to the late Helen Litz, director and conductor of the Mennonite Children’s Choir.

Thanks to my friend in the Mennonite Children’s Choir, Anita Fannenschmidt, for standing by me literally and figuratively and for nudging me in the ribs when I went off pitch.

Thanks to my voice teachers, Ruth Ens and John Martens.

Thanks to my college choir conductor, William Baerg.

Dale Warkentin, without your encouragement and support in Flin Flon for those couple of years, I may well have faltered.

The late Ted Goosen provided me with an opportunity to use my musical training and abilities at Simonhouse Bible Camp. Apparently they still sing some of my old songs up there.

Thanks to my piano teacher, the very accomplished Judith-Lynn Kehler Siebert, who taught me what it means to practice (though I took a rather long while to catch on).

My mentors, John Ens and Henry Wedel in particular, very much helped me to learn about singing bass, being a choir member, and to take leadership responsibly.

Arlie Langager led a choir at the University of Calgary while she did some graduate work there, and being part of that choir was certainly a highlight for me at that time.

Lisa Rosenberg gave me an opportunity to work on a song supporting the development of clean water infrastructure in Eastern Africa. That was an excellent experience for me in developing a project, and I hope to someday do more of that kind of work.

Thanks to Katherine “Em” for her support and encouragement, especially through social media.

Thanks to Jenn Byrnes and Lori Motherwell for their encouragement too.

Thanks to those in my extended family and on my social media network who encourage me. It does not go unnoticed.

There are so many more of you to thank, for so much. For now, this will have to do. Please be assured, I appreciate you all, though my expression of that can never be adequate.

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Overdue Thank You To Many But Not Enough

September 4, 2019 No Comment

Whether or not my unusual music goes anywhere out there, I owe a big thank you to many people for their encouragement and influence. Since I am supremely absent-minded, I will probably offend someone by leaving them out… but consider this a beginning.

My first music composition professor, Linda Schwartz, who is now Dean of Arts and Science at Ambrose University. Thank you for your early guidance and the opportunities you gave me.

Olaf Pyttlik, who asked me to collaborate with him lyrically at one point, but who is so far beyond me. Thank you for your friendship of long ago and for sharing your time with me. Olaf is a music producer and composer with DACAPO studios in Winnipeg, and you may have heard his musical scores for any number of television programs/movies/ballet. He wrote a lot of music for the Ice Age franchise.

Allan Gordon Bell – Professor, University of Calgary. Allan taught me more music theory and composition, and I would have done well to heed more of his advice.

Derek Penney – Derek had a band in Halifax once, and he has written a fair bit of music himself. It would be great to hear it publicly sometime. Derek joined me for a couple of jam sessions, gave me some good advice on some songs and about learning from others, and is a super guy.

Fred Green – Fred is one of those people in the world who is underestimated and deserves a whole lot more appreciation. He jammed with me a lot, was really encouraging, and I consumed too much of his beer and hospitality. He’s a mensch – a really solid, good guy.

Rhonda Janzen – a singer-songwriter herself, Rhonda introduced me to my first studio, Music Center Canada. While I haven’t put out those early recordings for distribution, that was where I got my toe in the water, and the guys at MCC were good to me.

Sean Bruneau – Sean was once upon a time a producer for a TV network, and he told me about the studio I’ve been going to lately, The Beach.

Allie Henderson invited me to play my music for guests at Inn From The Cold one night. I appreciate her encouragement and that opportunity.

Doug Klassen, then pastor of Foothills Mennonite Church, gave me many opportunities to play my music in church (not necessarily the same stuff now out), and has always been super supportive of my musical endeavours.

Char Mikalson has always been super encouraging of me and my music.

Chad and June Miller are always there for me and my family, and have been really supportive of my music as well.

Dave Ginther – invited me to play some of my stuff for a Men’s Group Potluck. That was lots of fun!

Steve Larsen – is a local music producer who recorded some of my early efforts.

Rick Tarnowski is a super bass player who has jammed with me, and we’ll be doing more of that. Also, Darrell Krahn (percussion), Eric Friesen (Lead Guitar). Those three guys have joined me on stage, and we’re looking at more of that.

I’ve enjoyed a number of open mic venues around town. The most consistent one over the years for me has been the Ironwood Bar and Grill, hosted by Kit Johnson and Tim Leacock, who are fine musicians as well.

There was a college music and drama troupe too… Mark Bartel, Patty Neumann Bartel, Matthew Bartel, Jenn Mierau, Christine Siemens Huebert, and Lynnette Sawatzky Regehr.

And of course, my family has contributed to my life and thus to my songwriting. #MyDear1, who is rather publicity shy, plays piano and keyboards and sings, and she improvises all of that really well too. She has rescued me from my own musical (and other) errors on numerous occasions. Also, she writes a bit of music sometimes.

There’s also a guy named Gordie who I jammed with once. There are so many, but like I say, that will have to be a preliminary list. Thank you all!

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Gonna Spend My Cash

August 19, 2019 No Comment

“Why do you buy organic bananas?” asked an older visitor. “They have a peel, so pesticides won’t transfer into what you eat.”

I told him that I had seen a documentary that showed pesticides being sprayed on a banana plantation while workers were picking the bananas, because the corporation that owned the plantation didn’t want to stop the harvest long enough to spray pesticides and interrupt the work. So for me, it wasn’t about the bananas, but about the workers.

“I hear that,” commented our visitor. He then went on to relate that when he was young, picking hops in the Fraser Valley, the company also sprayed pesticides while the hops were being picked.

We try to keep ethical and sustainability issues in mind when we make our purchases. Fair Trade coffee and chocolate are frequent purchases of ours. If you search “Child Labour and Slavery in the Chocolate Industry”, you will come across an article by the ‘Food Empowerment Project’ that gives some details about how the chocolate industry is involved in the worst possible labour conditions in the world in our time.

Yet, we are inconsistent in our efforts, even as far as buying chocolate. Some fair trade and organic goods are only sold in stores that are some distance away from our home, and thus we would have to spend more time, money, and fuel, to go and purchase those goods – which creates an opportunity cost and additional environmental sustainability issues in itself.

Every purchasing decision is on some level a compromise, and there are so many such decisions that have to be made. The individual consumer in our society should not have to bear this burden alone – but our society is insufficiently committed to ethical purchases, production, and environmental sustainability, and mostly just sees it all as a bother, so it seems unlikely that governments will be elected in the near future which will encourage and support change on a broader level. There are powerful corporate and political forces that benefit from the status quo, combined with a societal inertia and malaise, so this is likely to be an ongoing issue.

While I want to continue moving toward an ethical and sustainable lifestyle, I also really do enjoy getting paid. Getting a paycheque provides a bit of a sense of recognition for work accomplished, and I feel that it’s natural to want to celebrate that. There’s a cloud of guilt that lingers over progressives, because of the level of ethical compromise involved in almost every act of every day. Even sitting at this keyboard to type has environmental consequences.

So my song “Gonna Spend My Cash” relates to that internal conflict of feeling joy and wanting to celebrate my remuneration, while at the same time wanting to be a more ethical and sustainable consumer. I haven’t ever heard a song like it, so it needed to be written, in my opinion. Here are the lyrics.

Gonna Spend My Cash

Gonna spend my cash, ‘cuz I got my pay
There’s value in a dollar and that’s okay
Gonna spend my cash, but watch where it goes
Cuz I want it to be love and not blood that flows

I’d be lying if I’d say gonna give it all away
Got a family with dreams and bills to pay
I earn, so I’ll share, but I won’t throw it away
There’s a balance in the balance, and a price to pay

It would be great to get around the degradation
It would be great to get rid of financial oppression
It’s tough to fight a system that I live in
To avoid a depression, but reduce my possession

Gonna spend my cash, ‘cuz I got my pay
There’s value in a dollar and that’s okay
Gonna spend my cash, but watch where it goes
Cuz I want it to be love and not blood that flows
Cuz I want it to be love and not blood that flows

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I Just Want To Be With You All The Time

July 28, 2019 No Comment

When a whole writhing bundle of what you have always deeply felt and hoped finds a connection and expression with another human being – that’s what we like to label ‘love’.

The thing about labels, is that they change the experience. When we slap them on, there’s a “whew, now that’s explained!” sensation that comes with them. But the labels themselves arrive with a set of somewhat unacknowledged expectations – some of those are about experiences, and some are about commitments, and a whole narrative gets touched off by the simple application of a word.

I wanted to write a song about the early beginnings of making an authentic, deep connection with another person, without resorting to using the word ‘love’.

And I wanted to take it further from there – without leaving it at some gratuitous bit of lust, but also without assumptions of picket fences and Parent Council meetings lingering in the air. I wanted it to be a song about a living, purposeful, adaptive, engaged relationship with a transformative beginning.

Because while such relationships may include emotional and physical intensities, and maybe even picket fences and Parent Council meetings at some point, the point is that such a connection can be open and adaptable and not just locked into a set of tracks that sets off interminably into the horizon. A relationship can be transformative on an ongoing (although not linear and constant) basis.

The difference between being in love with a person – and not just one fixed idea of who a person is and what a relationship means – is that people change, and relationships can also change, and that can be good. A loving relationship can develop and evolve and still be love.

I wanted this song to put “seize the day” together with “live in the moment”. I wanted it to be mindfulness with enthusiasm, in the context of a relationship. I didn’t want it to be limited to a “we’ve got tonight” kind of song, but I also wanted didn’t want it to be limited to a “we were built to last” kind of song – because buildings tend to be sort of static and fixed and unchanging.

The idea of ‘living in the moment’ doesn’t just mean ‘taking the opportunity’ – it means to be fully engaged emotionally and intellectually engaged, as far as possible, with whatever kind of experience you are having in the now. Existentialism is about really acknowledging what’s going on with how you and others exist in context in each moment, and making your moments meaningful – because within us, we don’t measure life in minutes or hours or days or years, but in those meaningful moments. The more moments that we really live, the fuller our lives are. We can cram quite a bit of living into our days if we approach them in that way, and especially if we do so together.

Anyway, to whatever extent all those hopes for the song were successful, here are the lyrics;

I Just Want To Be With You All The Time

I just want to be with you all the time
I only want to be with you all the time
I want to be beside you, and with you in mind
I want to be all with you, all the time

Forever is a long time
and I must admit
I don’t have the kind of mind
that can conceive of it

But this moment has transformed
both the present and the past
The future would be better too
if we could make this last

I just want to be with you
all the time
I only want to be with you
all the time
I want to be beside you
and with you in mind
I want to be all with you
all the time

I want to be all with you
I want to be all with you
I want to be all with you
All the time
All the time
All the time

I just want to be with you
all the time
I only want to be with you
all the time
I want to be beside you
and with you in mind
I want to be all with you
all the time

I want to be all with you
all the time

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I Do What I Do (And I Don’t Pay No Mind)

July 4, 2019 56 Comments

It was an understandable mistake. The first time the recording studio producer typed in the name of the song, it came out “I do what I want”. That one word difference, though, was too much – I had to change it back to the original “I do what I do…”.

The song is not so much about doing what I want, as about continuing to press forward – without being distracted by unproductive criticism, or past mistakes, or regret. It’s about finding meaning in work – although getting paid for what you do is lovely and provides resources to meet goals, meaning is what helps a person to endure and persist. It’s about being prepared for opportunity by putting in the necessary groundwork so as to be ready to go when the right time comes. It’s about being authentically oneself.

It’s not a complicated song, and the words in it aren’t particularly difficult or unusual. The grammar is definitely not proper. But all that stuff in the paragraph I just wrote, was stuff I wanted to express in a straightforward way and with a tone of dogged persistence and a sense that there is a wealth of experience beneath the words.

Here are the lyrics;

I do what I do, and I don’t pay no mind
to what naysayers say, or what muckrakers find.
I do what I do, and I don’t pay no mind.

Like everyone else, I’ve left stories behind.
Some I think of fondly, some I’d like to rewind.
I’d like to retouch some of my history,
but I’m not looking back, ‘cuz that’s no place to be.

If you put in the work, your heart will be satisfied –
it’s not seeking reward, it’s not stroking your pride.
If the world needs what you bring,
you know you won’t be denied –
but the far greater thing is the warm glow inside.

I’ll sit back and wait –
I’ll know the time when I see it.
I won’t rush to be great –
don’t wanna fake it, but be it.
I’ll sit back and wait –
I’ll know the time when I see it.

Well, I do what I do, and I don’t pay no mind
to what naysayers say, or what muckrakers find.
I do what I do, and I don’t pay no mind.

**The other unusual thing about this song, for me, is that it’s in 6/8 time. Generally my songs are in 4/4 time, but this is the first of two of my most recent recordings that is in 6/8.

You can find my music on any streaming service, and it can be downloaded as well from Apple Music and from Amazon, to name two.

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